The Tombs of the Kings and Kourion

Oh my gods. I have had the best sleep ever! I slept through the night and now I am much more alert. We have had a busy day today. First up was a trip into Pafos again to see the Tombs of the kings. It is not really a tomb for kings but it is called that because it is so large that it is king-like in size. There are all of these tombs and you can see where the bodies had once been buried. There are all of these cut out shapes in the ground where people have broken open the tombs and removed anything of value. It is a shame to think about it but it is very impressive. It puts me in mind of a city for the dead as the tombs are like underground houses, some of them even having atriums and the like. There are a lot of mounds about which make me wonder if they are other tombs that are there and have yet to be excavated or have been and they are closed to the public and have been reburied. It is surprising how cool it is inside the tombs being that outside it is 30 degrees.
I have been burnt just a tad so now I am sporting a sort of burnt-brown colouring and my legs have tan! Who would have thought it!
We stayed at the Tombs of the Kings for a little while before heading off. On the way back I wanted to visit Apollo's temple so we stopped off. Large portions of it are still standing, and some parts have been rebuilt by the archeologists. It is inspiring in size and the fact that parts of houses still remain. I got to walk along paths that the Greeks and Romans had once walked along. Amazing!!! I picked up a piece of ceramic pottery that just hapened to be on the grond.
Lastly, before heading home we went to Kourion, which houses an open air, ancient theatre and bathes. Apparently the bathes were built because the locals were complaining about the heat.
The theatre is a masterpiece of art and the seating looks out over the sea.
It is amazing how much grander everything is over there. There is a lot of elegance even though it is mosty ruins.
The weather is still nigh on impossible. I think it got up to 36 degrees today. It was definately HOT and I felt really dehydrated by the end.

P is for Pafos and T is for Tomb-Raider

I awoke VERY early the next morning (4.30am) partially thanks to the jetlag, but mostly thanks to the snoring. It is very much akin to a chainsaw. I took my sheet downstairs and curled up on the couch. This was after I had already tried earplugs and headphones to no avail.

Up bright and early and knackered I waited for everyone else to rise. Dad was first, naturally. Mum was second. We decided that today we would head into Pafos today. I really wanted to see some old ruins along the way so we headed out. First we went to Pissouri village as it was on the doorstep. Little old streets that are only one car wide, lots of stone houses and extreme sun. It is built on the side of a hill and over looks the bay. It is quite beautiful really but again, very dry. I haven't seen anything to say how people work here. There is little industry that I can see. Perhaps they raise goats and wine. Probably.

We next head over to the Temple of Aphrodite. I wasn't sure what to expect but it was quite lovely. There are lots of stones cast about, the remains of houses and columns. There are still a few mosaic floors that are open to the air and public. I got to visit the house of Leda where there is a mosaic of Leda and the Swan.

I took a lot of photos but that wasn't all I took... on the ground, amongst the dirt in the already excavated sections I came across some small peices of pottery with ceramic paint. When I first picked it up I was surprised by how bright the colouring was and I was a bit like "It can't be real, I don't even think they had those colours." Well, I went into the museum and yes, yes they do. I was stoked. Here was my little piece of Aphrodites Temple just for me. Mum found a second peice though it was uncoloured it was still pretty.
We next headed across to Pafos to visit the archeological dig. There I was able to look at things like the House of Theseus which I think is fair to say was rather palatial. I also visited the House of Dionysus, where they have the remains of all of these mosaics of various people and seasons and Dionyus himself. It is lovely and cool too as it is all housed inside an open tent so that the elements can't destroy it anymore.
After visting both of these houses we went for a walk along to the Odeion (amphitheatre) which is in surprisingly good condition. I sat in the seats that Greeks and Roman has sat in before me, I stood on the stage as the ancient actors had, and I had my photo taken with my shawl wrapped around me like a toga just because I could.
We were very hot by that point as it was the middle of the day. We grabbed some cold water and headed down to the port where we had an overpriced salad. Me and mum asked for avacado shrimp salad, which consisted of about two whole tomatoes chopped up, half a cucumber chopped up, heaps of lettuce (and I do mean heaps) and finally topped with canned shrimp and half an avacado. Best part of the meal was the garlic bread and the cold Keo shandy. The local beer is really tasty and is very smooth especially with lemonade. It goes down fast.
It was so hot by that point and I was sweating so much we decided to call it a day and headed back to the house. Not before we saw Aphrodite's rock. It was quite a mission to find and when we did there is no parking bay near it, so we found a look out point further along. Aphrodite's beach and rock is supposedly where she washed up. It is a very scenic place and I would well imagine Aphrodite stepping naked from the warm blue waters, hair hanging to her knees and people falling at her feet. Apparently you are supposed to swim around the rock three times and if you do you are in for luck in love.
That afternoon we went for a swim in the pool at the house and while drying off I got burnt. I am now sporting a lovely burnt-brown coloured skin and some serious tan lines. Still feeling jetlagged and not at all well, we have dinner out at the Captain's Table before it is time for bed. Tonight I am sleeping on the couch. I told Aunty Dorothy it is because it is too hot up in that room. That is only half the truth but I can't tell her the truth.

First Day of Exploration - Let's go to the beach and drink!

The next morning when I woke up, it was to the sound of Aunty Dorothy's dulcet snoring tones. Quite the wake-up call. Once up it was time to take a deep breath and appreciate the fact that I was on holiday. It is hard to do when you have been working non-stop to get everything ready for your departure in the middle of the school term. I couldn't sit still so I took myself off for a walk to the beach with dad. Pissouri Bay is very peaceful and quiet - it hasn't quite become the holiday hotspot yet, though it is easy to see that it will be soon.

We walked to the beach front and the water was crystal clear so we decided to take a swim. How rocky can a beach be! I thought I had reasonably good feet, kiwi feet, but apparently not. We went for a paddle in the sea and it was so refreshing but gods, my feet felt like they had been cut by stone and glass.
Deciding that I was ill-prepared for the beach I stopped in at a shop and bought a hat. Much better. I also ended up getting jandals for my poor feet.

We all headed back to the beach at around 10am and lounged about on sun-lazers until a man came up asking for money for the lying on them. At that point we moved up to the restuarant for cocktails. Who cares that it is only 11am. Not me. We end up having breakfast and I am so jetlagged that when Ruth appears to say hello it takes awhile for my brain to switch on. One Sex on the Beach and Tequila Sunrise later I am feeling very relaxed and very sleepy.
I struggled through the day with jetlag but by 3pm I was shattered so I lay down on the couch at the house for a little snooze. 2 hours later I wake up feeling slightly better and slightly worse - you know that way you do when you just wake up.
We head out for dinner at the Vineyards Restaurant again, only this time we are accompanied by Aunty Pauline, Uncle Ian and Aunty Dorothy.
I try another Cypriot dish called Dolmades which is pork mince, rice and tomatoes all squished together and wrapped inside vineleaves. It was so tasty and I could barely finish it. However, when the waiter came around he said, "Oh, I see you still have one left, so you are not finished. I will come back." I could only smile, nod then face down the last few bitefuls bravely.
By the time we got back at 7pm I was shattered and went to bed. Aunty Dorothy came up soon after...

Cyprus is HOT HOT HOT!

I had arrived in Cyprus at 11am. I got off the plane and was greeted by heat. It is safe to say it was humid and I was knackered. I got off the plane and was trying to figure out where the flight sheets are, you know the ones you fill in to say why you are in the country. There was nothing. I took my passport up to border security, the looked at it, look at me, stamped it and I was off. I still had mean wind and had to make a trip to the loos before I could collect my bag. I grabbed it and headed to the exit. They only security there was asking if I had anything to declare, on a big sign with two paths, Yes or No. There was no one waiting in the No section which made me smile, when you think about NZ where it is manned by about twenty men and women.
Out in the airport I was surprised by how small it was. It was nice and clean though and what more could you want. I headed around to the loos for round 50, it felt like, and then to a seat to wait for three hours for mum and dad. I had to make a few more trips to the loo before they arrived, it is fair to say.
When I got bored of where I was sitting I moved around to a cafe seating area opposite the arrivals. I watched people for a while before settling in to watch a bunch of Cypriots who all work via sitting down at the coffee stands. It is very laid back here, I have noticed.

Mum and dad finally arrive and we head outside. So far, I had been confined to the slightly airconditioned rooms of the airport. Needless to say it was WAAAAAY hotter outside. I was sweating cogs. We jumped in the hire car and made our way to Pissouri Bay where we were be staying.

First impressions of Cyprus landscape: dry, arid, scrubby, rocky. It is very untamed landscape dotted with brush and ruins. It is beautiful in its own way and it is so steeped in history that you can feel it oozing out of the rocks around you. I was seriously feeling the jetlag by this point so when we arrive I was so very grateful.
I couldn't believe how it was still very bright out but it was 6pm. We went for a walk along the street to a restaurant called the Old Vines and sat outside under hanging vines of grapes. It was exactly what I imagined. The salad was divine and being Sunday we got to try the Cypriot dish of Kleftiko which is basically a plate FULL of slow cooked lamb and a potato plonked on the side. The meat was so tender it just fell off the bone.
By 7pm I was so knackered that I was falling asleep at the table. It was time to call it a night. Full, warm and happily on the ground I fell into bed and that was that.

The flight in...

Right, so I am sitting on the tiled floor at Dubai airport. It is currently 26 degrees, it is 7am and I have had to walk almost the entire length of the airport to get to my gate. It was a little bit confusing what with my flight seeming to go to a few destinations. Hope it is the right gate. I’m screwed if I have to walk back to the start. The reason I am sitting on the hard tile floor is because there is no seating bar about 10 chairs, all taken. It is also nice and cool on the floor.

The other problem I am currently having is the high pressure cabins and the creation of wind. I try to hold them in, I don’t always succeed, and if I am honest, I don’t think it is good to keep them in. Could be explosive.

As soon as I got off the plan and made it through Dubai’s poor excuse for customes, I head to the toilets. Much better after having alleviated some pressure. It didn’t last long, of course, so during my cross country trek from one side of the airport to the other I stopped at another set of loos. They were the squatter toilet. I walked back out. I can’t do it. I would take my chances. I set off at a strong pace and using what can be described as hurried desperation, I found some normal loos. THANK GODS!!!

My bum is still and I have to wait another 2 hours, give or take, before the next leg. Can’t wait to touch down in Cyrpus. This feels like the longest flight EVER!

Woohoo! I was upgraded to Business class for the last leg of the journey. Of course, it was Business class on a little plane. My hips were up against the sides of the chair, but there was  lots of leg room and I got fed a two course meal. Pretty nice. It was a good chance to chill out for a few hours. I had a to laugh, mind you, when the plane took off. I don't think my seat worked entirely correctly, so when we took off my seat began to slide back. I was paranoid I was going to be lying down so I was desperately fighting it. Same thing happened when landing. I was sitting beside this lovely indian lady who had also been upgraded. When they came around with the champagne, it was a HELL YES from both of us. How often do we get to have champagne for preflight. Nice.

English Week Reflections

I have had the most insane week. I spent the weekend before English week making book marks, around about 60 and it was really enjoyable. I had the most fantastic committee helping me out and I am very proud of how much work they put into it. On Monday we had a Shakespeare Day where the students had to quote a line of Shakespeare in order to get a lolly. On Tuesday we had an archaic word hunt. I wasn't ready for the amount of students turning up. About 50 students came hurtling into my classroom about ten minutes after the bell, all having solved the riddle. Seriously impressive. On Tuesday night I had to make MORE bookmarks, so I put my report writing off for another day (such a hardship). On Wednesday we had an English quiz to which my tiny classroom was overrun with 60 students all crammed in. Thursday rolled around and I still hadn't written any reports, I had much more interesting things to worrry about, like what poem I was going to perform at the Poetry open air performances... ended up going with Ithaca by Cavafy. Even some of my students turned up and did performances and other students also performed. I was impressed with the clarity and poise that some of the girls had when performing their pieces. On Thursday night I had way more important things to do. One was to decorate a cake. And it was seriously decorated if I do say so myself. I also had Cherie straighten my hair.We decided that from behind I look like cousin It from the Adam's family.
Today, Friday, was absolutely amazing. We had a dress-up day and cake decoration competition. About ten students made cakes and quiet a few dressed up. I am really happy about how they week went. After selling the cakes in slices - we made $130 which we are going to donate to KidsCann - we took my cake upstairs and I let the committee eat it. I was dressed up as Lady Macbeth all day so by the end of the day I was ready to call it quits. Now, it is the weekend and I have 130 reports to write and about 100 essays to mark.

Amsterdam... lots of naughty things to do... so little time

Right. The first question. What is Amsterdam known for? It doesn’t require a lot of thought to know the answer to that question. Sex and drugs. We arrived in the evening and had been told our surprise. For a very reasonable 30 Euro (yay for group discounts) we were booked in to watch one hour of a live sex show. Yes, live. Before we arrived at what they refer to as a sex theatre, we had a walk through the red light district and skinny alley. It was just so different to anything that I had ever experienced. As soon as we arrived the smell of marijuana was in the air. We were told what was what. Apparently coffee shops are for smoking drugs. Cafes sell food. Coffee shops do not sell alcohol either because you shouldn’t mix drugs and alcohol, as any true pot user knows...

There was also the matter of glass door after glass door with ladies of the evening selling their wares. They just stand there in skimpy underwear opening the door to prospective clients. It was different, and considering it was a Monday night there was a lot of people out and about, and a lot of curtains pulled across doors.
I only have one photo in the red light district and that is of statue of a prostitute. What is so great about the statue is that it is situated right outside the oldest church in Amsterdam, right in the heart of the red light district. Crazy. Obviously you can’t take photos anywhere else. We were all warned about that and no one was stupid enough to try it.
We arrived at the sex theatre around 9pm and as we entered, all 40 of us, we were given lollypops. Girls got huge penis lollies, boys got huge boobs. When we first entered there was already a couple going at it on the stage. Every single on of us sort of just stopped and weren’t quite sure where to look. Then the giggling began. When we were sitting they were finishing their part of the show. It was the most liberating experience and by the end of the hour I don’t think I will ever blush again.
The show was basically a series of ten minute shows, where couples came on, did their thing, then walked back off. There was a rotating table in the middle of the stage. There was no coming, just a different position every 30 seconds or so. The ladies were very, VERY flexible.
Because Contiki was in the house, it meant they put on a special show. First was the Banana show. Whatever you are thinking right now, you are probably pretty close. Five of our guys were called up on stage and danced with a very limber lady, at the end of the act she was on the floor, the banana sticking out of her and the boys each had to take a bite.
Next was a lady who came off the stage and right up to our group. She was flirting with the boys but wouldn’t let them touch her. The girls on the other hand, because we had no interest, she got up close to. Example: I was sitting on the end of the row and TK, on of the guys in the group, was in the row behind me. Instead of going straight to him, she walked over to me, leant over me, so I quite literally had my face between her boobs. When she moved away, she said thank you. I couldn’t stop laughing. Another example: she put lotion on her boobs, and lotion on a guys hands. He had to rub them on his own chest, and she grabbed Erin’s hands and had her rub the lotion in to her boobs. We girls decided later that it must be a safety thing for the dancers. We were in tears, it was hilarious. The same woman then grabbed one of the boys and had him pull his shirt off and lie on the floor. She had a permanent marker. Her vaginal muscles must be epic because she squatted over his chest and wrote bad boy in large bold letters. She didn’t use her hands at all.
There was also a strip tease for the ladies. He was very, very pretty and ripped. I want a man with that much control over his pecs and butt muscles.
After an hour, and trust me when I say that an hour is enough, it was time to try the other thing that Amsterdam has lots of on offer. About 7 of us headed to a coffee house. Originally I was going to eat a brownie, but after talking to Jenn, I decided that smoking it would be safer because it takes the brownies half an hour to work and the effects don’t ware off for some time. Whereas, with smoking, the effects are instantaneous so you know straight away and can stop.
We spoke to the man selling it, and he pointed us to the mildest stuff they have, which is still strong, and he told me to take it very slowly as it was my first time.
I have never smoked in my life. I had no idea how to light a cigarette, so one of the boys did lit it for me. It was a very strange effect and I didn’t feel anything at first, mostly because I wasn’t so much inhaling as holding it in my mouth. By the way, it tasted disgusting. It started to work about ten minutes later and everything seemed to slow down and I relaxed completely. I remember everything clearly and some of my actions at the time seemed perfectly logical but when I think back, I am not so sure. I had to hold a coaster under my cup and when someone took it off me, I told them that I couldn’t drink my lemonade without it, so they put it back. I also, while under the influence, thought that everyone talked to much, one of our group was a hobbit, there was someone behind me (that turned out to be a picture of a giant grasshopper). I was really tired too so a group of us went back to the hotel. Me and Mike found the vending machine. MM’s never tasted so good.

The next day, when I woke, I was thirsty as hell, and so very tired. I wasn’t the only one. After breakfast, we went out of the city to a clog and cheese making factory. Had my photo taken in huge clogs. It was good fun. After that, we headed back into the city and were dropped off at Anne Frank’s house. It was a fantastic museum with extracts from the diary used to explain the parts of the house. There were interviews playing on TVs, people who knew the Frank family. It was very touching.
When we had finished up there, I decided to strike out on my own. I needed some down time and many others were heading off to the Heiniken factory. I needed to buy a new bag, as I had bought far too many things on this trip.
I walked and walked and walked. I saw a lot, somehow managed to get turned about and ended up in the red light, which I quickly exited again, and tried again to find the main shopping walk.
I had coffees and cakes and got a new bag. YAY. It was half price. 25 Euro instead of 50. At about 3.30pm I met up with some of the others and we headed back to the hotel.

That evening, our last evening all together, we had dinner in a fishing town then a glass boat cruise along the canals in the city. It was very beautiful and a lovely way to end the tour. Sadly, I also had a massive headache, so by the time the boat cruise was over, I was ready for bed. Apparently, many were. I felt bad, because, I would have liked to go out, but I didn’t just end the night on a low note. Jade, Jodie, Mike and I had a PJ Tea Party. It was really relaxing and gave my head a chance to relax.

It took me a further hour to pack my bag. Sigh. Tour finishes tomorrow.
The next morning we were up very early in the morning for a full day of driving. We farewelled a few people at the airport then we were off.
We had one last surprise. Instead of stopping at McD’s for a service stop, Jenn and Rich took us into Belgium , specifically into Bruges. What a beautiful little town. I am definitely going back there. We had lunch, a little walk and were off again, down to Calais.
By the time we had done the ferry crossing, and the drive back into London, it was 7pm.
I said my farewells, which was very horrible, I headed to the Metro to catch a train out to the airport.
I arrived at 8.30pm at the hotel. I felt so dirty and sweaty that I ignored going down for dinner, had a muesli bar, and an hour long bath instead. Much better.
My flight doesn’t leave until 10pm tonight. I still have some time to kill but I am too exhausted to do anything other than lie of the bed. I will see you all soon. xxx

Berlin - I had a 'wall' of a time...

Sorry, I had to use the pun. Yes, I have now been to Berlin. I just left it, in fact, so what better time to update.

Before we reached Berlin we stopped for a few hours in Dresden to take in the sites. I got to see the most impressive porcelin painting on the side of a building. It miraculously survived the war. We walked into the main square and looked at the new church.

Apparently in WW2 it was bombed. Straight after that Dresden fell into Communist hands and the communists didn't believe that religion should have a place. The locals collected up all the rubble and put it into storage. When the communist regime fell the locals pulled out the remains of the church, looked at old photos of what it looked like, and rebuilt it.

We arrived into Berlin in the late afternoon and had a few hours to chill before we were heading out on a surprise visit to the Reichstag, the parliment building. When we eventually headed along, we were told that we needed to bring our passports with us. Jen had to book us in last week because it is a parliament building that had recently had threats. It is free to go and you can no longer go alone. You must go as part of a group tour and you must give details before you go. It was really spectacular. I got to see Berlin by night which was both good and bad. Good because it looks pretty all lit up, bad because it is night and you can only see a quarter of the city. But I am getting a head of myself. When we entered the building we had to go through several checkpoints and scanners before getting into an elevator that took us to the top floor. From there we recieve audio guides and could head out into the dome.

The dome is stunning. It is two paths the run all the way around from the bottom to the top. A bit like our behive in shape but entirely made of class. In the centre of the dome are 360 mirrors and the middle of the floor on the bottom level is made of glass so that you can stare down into the parliament house and watch what is happening. It is supposed to show that Germany has a transparent democracy. They don't ever want to go back to the dictarorshops and communist times so people are actually allowed to sit in on all sessions of parliament if they book a seat, and it is free.

We also got to see the open air museum of the Berlin wall. It has been painted with famous works of art all about peace and love and freedom and oppression. It was quite amazing and is 1km long. I really loved the art and my only wish is to come back and see it during the day time. I imagine the art would be quite stunning by day light.

This piece of art I am standing in front of is supposed to be a paiting of a famous photo of the Soviet and German diplomats sealing the deal on peace just after the berlin wall collapsed. It is how the Europeans do it apparently.

The next day we started off with a walking tour. That took about 3 hours. The tour guide was great and told us lots of stories. I got to stand on top of Hitler's Bunker, though not in it. The German government don't want to immortalise Hitler by opening the bunker to people. They also don't want to attract skin heads and the like who would flock to it. So, where I stood, was on the dirt about it. The ground is pretty gross and the tour guide told us that people walk their dogs on to it to do their business and drunks go out of their way after a night on the town to vomit and piss on that site, and no body blinks an eye. I liked that.

We visited the memorial to the murdered Jews of Germany. That was standing on a site that used to be Nazi garden for the elite. When it was first chosen as the site there was a lot of controvery over it, but they then decided that it was a good idea, becuase, although no Jews died on that site, it is a public road that hundreds of thousands walk down daily, and so it is a constant reminder of the German past. It is not hidden away somewhere obscure, but it is right there for all to see.

We also saw another part of the wall. Ironically, the wall that remains must be protected by another wall, to stop people from chipping away at it. We walked along it, and through the no-mans land between East and West Berlin. We saw the site where the Nazi burnt the books that were deemed to be anti-socialist.

Now stands, beneath the site a huge room full of empty bookshelves to show what they did. I also got to see the balcony where Micheal Jackson hung Blanket off, and Check Point Charlie. The tour guide told us some great stories about Check Point Charlie escapes. There was one man who lived in West Berlin but had a girlfriend in East Berlin. So he bought an Astin Martin (James Bond car) and drove it across the border. He had a special permit to study in East Berlin so could pass in and out once a day. When he go into East Berlin he put his girlfriends mother and her in the tiny boot then as they drove to the check point he put the pedel down. Because the car was so low, when he ducked down, the car went under the road blocks and he dodged around the blockades in No Man's Land. The soldiers and snipers on patrol were too amazed and dumbstruck to do more than watch.

In the afternoon, after the tour, Jodie, Jade, Calum and I went for a walk about. We went to the DDR Museum. It is an interactive museum where you learn about German Communist society and get to  play with the stuff their. Really fascinating and learnt just how easy it is to create a fearmongering governement. Doesn't really take much at all, sadly.

We had lunch at a local restaurant that the locals seemed to eat at. I have CurryWurst. It was tasty, if not a slightly scandalous looking sausage covered in tomato sauce and curry powder. At the time it was lovely, a few hours later I was burping up CurryWurst. Not so pretty. We walked around for a wee bit longer, stopped off at a German Chocolate factory and then headed back to the hotel. I was supposed to be going out for an Eye Spy and Pub Crawl but I just couldn't do it. I wasn't sure which way that sausage was going.

Today we have had a very loooong drive from Berlin to Amsterdam. No exciting stops along the way, but what a night it will be tonight! We are booked into see a live sex show, and then for a walk along the red light district, before heading to a coffee house. Should be a laugh. I think pretty much everyone was going tonight. Should be entertaining. I will give you the blow by blow (pun intended) when I next update. Hahaha.

Prague – Chek me out!

I am in Prague. Can’t believe that I have been to all of these places so far and that I am in Prague! We arrived in early in the afternoon and went for a walking tour of the city, starting at the castle on the hill and walking down into the old quarter. I loved it here. The old quarter is beautiful and there is this great celestial clock. It is one of a kind. The clock maker finished it a few hundred years back and the city officials were so worried that there would be others made the same that they blinded the clockmaker so that he couldn’t replicate it. Crazy. Now, fair enough, the clock maker wasn’t too happy at being blinded so he climbed the tower and shoved his arm into the cogs of the huge clock and while ripping his arm up, he also managed to pull out some important bits of clock. Problem was, they had lots of people that could fix clocks, just none that could make one like that.

We had a Prague Pub Crawl on the first night in the city. It was crazy but fun. We all walked down to the first bar and the first bar had what is fondly known as the ‘hour of power’. It was free shots of absinth or vodka and cranberry, beer, wine and soft drinks. I tried absinth for the first time. Liked it. A lot. Had four shots of it. It burnt so nicely going down. I also had two shots of vodka.

Now, while I know to give my body time between shots, I know that shots take a bit of time to move through the body, some of our younger contikians have not learnt yet, and some just don’t care to learn. One girl was so drunk by the end of the first bar she had to go to hospital. She is okay now, thank god. Another girl got so drunk that she spent half of her time hitting on anything with a penis and the other half of the time drinking. She also pissed her pants twice and told everyone without shame. All the teachers on the tour feel fairly certain that she is on the aspergers spectrum. She is so quiet and one drink and BAM! Everyone was ready to commit murder by the end of the night. She was intense. Another guy, one who has a bit of an alcohol problem, stood at the bar at the first bar and drank shot after shot. He also had a secret staff of booze in his pockets which he partook of. By half way through the night he could barely stand. We all kept telling him to stop drinking, to have some water. It didn’t work. He didn’t listen. At the end of the night, two of the others on the tour had to half walk/half carry him back to the hotel. He passed out a few times on the way. It is not funny and it is annoying have to keep an eye on him because he can’t control himself.

At about one in the morning me and Calum left the last bar and made the walk back to the hotel. Calum was hilarious. He was drunk and he had forgotten his jacket. He was also serious that we should be going left. ‘Dead set, Deb, we need to go left. I swear, dead set.’ He kept saying this every time we reached a new street. I had a map. If I had relied on him we would have ended up going back to the bloody bar. He was goneburgers. He also insisted on asking directions from people who spoke barely any English. I more than once politely pushed him aside and showed them the map and where we had to go.

In the end we found a friendly Peruvian who had been living in Prague for a year. He showed us the way back to the hotel.
You know when you have just down a big walk and you are wide awake. That was me at 1.30am after walking back. I decided that now would be a good time to do my washing. My clothes that I had been wearing at the pubs stunk. In Prague you can still smoke in bars, cafes, hotels. Everywhere. I had forgotten how much your clothes and hair end up stinking when you are in that environment. I think I have become a little spoilt by our NZ rules on smoking.
By the time I had showered and cleaned my clothes it was 3am. Finally tired, I slept.

 Prague by day is equally stunning. I would really love to find an apartment in the old town, on the main square. I got to do some pretty different things that day. It started off at 10.30am when I walked into the main square. I grabbed a coffee and sat on a bench in the square and people watched for about an hour. I texted Jade and asked where she and Jodie were. They were going to meet me there. I also found Calum. Jodie and Jade got lost and it was starting to get cold so me and Calum decided to check out the Sex Museum. Yes, an actual museum about sex. I always thought I had a pretty good idea about the different kinks that people have, and I like to think I am an open minded person, but wow. I felt really quite naive. There were contraptions and dildos and seats that had been created in the 1800s. There was a hilarious machine that was an anti-masturbation machine for boys. Apparently one end was attached to the penis, and off it was a long wire that ran into their parent’s room. When the poor boy had an erection it would set of an alarm in the parent’s room. Hahaha. It was a museum though, so there was lots of information and quite an open feel about the place. It was strange to be standing beside a complete stranger looking at a dildo the size and width of my arm. Also at the sex museum was 1925 porn. We went into the small theatre expecting flashing of boobs, maybe some ankles and legs. Nope. Apparently this Spanish king really wanted some porn, so he hired one of his friends and two prostitutes and had he whole thing filmed. It was so awkward and they all looked bored. Everyone was laughing. It was just so... I don’t know. I had never watched porn before and my first look in is at 1925 porn. Oh, and did I mention it was a silent film with music playing in the background, silent movie music.

After that ‘cultural’ experience, Jade, Jodie, Calum and I all went for lunch at a caveman restaurant. Apparently in the evenings the waiters all get dressed up in costume and they don’t speak, they just grunt and to order you have to draw pictures of what you want. To get their attention you have to bang rocks on the table. Sadly, we didn’t get to do that but we did get to eat with our hands. I had ribs. It was good eating.
We headed back into the main square, grabbed another coffee and walked the markets and shops before meeting with everyone for a show. We were booked into seeing a blacklight show. It was great. Kind of like Circ de Sole on a small scale. The best part, better than the dancing and acrobatics was the clowns. Absolutely hilarious. Well worth the money and me and Jodie were right in the front row.

We were absolutely knackered when we got back to the hotel. I think we are all getting really tired. Everyone is reaching the point where we can’t believe that we have been travelling together for 20 days and that we only have 4 to go. Insane. Equally, we are glad it is getting to the end. Most of us just want to sleep in our own beds and not be living out of a suitcase. I want to not wash my dirty knickers in the shower or sink. I am so tired that I am starting to look forward to 30 hours on a plane, where I can sleep and watch Harry Potter. I think I am having HP withdrawl.

Mathausen Concentration Camp

The most life-affirming and deep thought experience that I have had in a long time. Going to Mathausen concentration camp has forever altered the way I think. When we drove through the village it was quiet and raining. A somewhat sombre beginning to the day. We drove up a hill, through a forest to the walls of the camp. Even from the outside, it was awe-inspiring and chilling. I felt sick inside but knew equally that it was something that I had to do. It was important. The walls were high and made of cold stone. There was one way in, one way out. Before we entered the camp we went to the information session to watch a 45 minute documentary on the camp. It was horrific to see the live footage of what soldier found when they eventually liberated it in 1945. It was the last of the camps to be liberated from the Nazis. After that, we walked down to the camp and through the gates that countless thousands had been marched through in the 30s and 40s at the point of a gun. When you enter, there is an absolute sense of dread. You know what has happened and you know how many souls still reside in the place.

The landscape is spartan, cold and meticulous in straight lines. The only housing is two rows of barraks with no heating, and no bathrooms. Many of them house photos of the atrocities.
Everyone split up to have their own experiences. It was very personal. I walked out the back to the fields and read the information about what had used to be there. Apparently they were some of the original barracks. Behind that was the Ash pile. It was where the cremated remains of those who had been killed were dumped by their fellow prisoners. On that site is now a cross. In the distance, behind the Ash dump they still have the wooden sniper posts for the soldiers to keep an eye on the prisoners and shoot anyone who tried to escape.
Back in the housing and barracks area below them was the most horrific area of the whole place. The crematorium and gas chambers. I stood outside the building for a few minutes, unable to step through the doors. There was such sense of oppression about the place. Eventually I walked inside.
There are no words to describe how I felt. Fear, disgust, horror, pain, sadness, anguish, none of these words fit.

I walked through the various rooms. The first room I walked into was the first crematorium, laden with flowers and candles and flags of those who have visited. The next room was a storage room for the bodies waiting to be burnt. The room after that was a gas chamber. I had to force myself to go inside. I felt sick. It looked so much like a shower block. That is what they told the men, women and children when they entered, that they were going for a shower. Beside that was another store room to drag the gassed bodied into. In a seemingly empty room there was a plaque on the wall that told that the room was used for hangings. I looked up and there was the metal plank used for holding the ropes with the remains of one of the ropes still attached.

There was another room with more cremators. In that room, all over the walls were pictures of those who were killed at the camp. Their families had put them there after the war.

The last room, the one that had the biggest impact on me and is the one that will stay with me forever, was the room they used to strip the dead bodies of their gold teeth and any other valuables that they may have hidden on their bodies. All that was in the room was a huge stone slab table, at waist level. There was nothing else really in that room, but it was the most horrifying for the fact that it was so Spartan and uniform and served a very clear purpose.

Not surprisingly, I had broken down well before this point. I think I started crying the minute I stepped foot on the road that ran between the barracks. I didn’t stop crying until we had been back on the bus for about 10 minutes or so.

It was the most sobering experience of my life. I have never felt that way and every time I think about it and I look at the pictures, I remember what I saw and what had happened there only 70 years ago.
That is what I am slowly coming to realise as I move through Europe. There is a very dark history, and I am not even talking about five hundred of years ago, where it is almost forgivable because of their ignorance, these horrible things have all taken place in the last 100 years. I am forever changed for that experience and I am humbled by it.

After Mathausen in the morning and a pretty sombre 20 minute drive we stopped for some lunch before heading on to Munich for one night.

We arrived into Munich in the evening and dropped our things off at the hotel then we headed off for a short walking tour. It was dark, as it always seems to be, but I am lucky to see everything so beautifully lit with their Christmas decorations still up. Being in Munich did mean that we had to do one very important thing. We had to go to a beer hall. And boy was it a beer hall. We walked into Hoffbaurhaus, a beer hall seats 1500, and is also a restaurant. If I had to imagine what the Vikings used to eat like in their halls that would be similar. Lots of tables, everyone in close, lots of beer and LOTS of meat dishes.

They love pork over here. Love it so much that pretty much every meat dish is pork... or sausage. I did try to look for knockvurst sausage, though I am not actually sure if a) that is even the spelling, and b) if is it a real food. In the end I settled on bockwurst sausage with potato salad and a basket of bread. It was tasty but not nearly as tasty as my 1 litre shandy. Oh yes, 1 litre. It was massive and required the use of my strong hand just to lift it when I first got given it. At the beer hall that also had a live ompha band playing. There were even wearing lederhosen. Woohoo!
It was a fun night and I was mightly tempted to buy, for lack of a better word, a beer wench outfit that they apparently wear to weddings and traditional ceremonies and at Oktoberfest. They were very pretty dresses. I am sure I could have yodelled if I had one.

Austria - Home of Mozart and Strauss

After a very long drive to Austria, we eventually arrived to the hotel in the evening. We had about 45 minutes to get ready before it was time to go back out for dinner in the basement of the town hall. It was elaborately painted on the ceiling and there were long tables inside. It looked a bit like a secret society basement in a few ways. Because we were in Vienna we were treated to schnitzel. Mmmm. I wish I knew how they cooked it. Theris is golden and crispy. Mine is soggy and half the bread crumbs are burnt off and the other half are burnt on.

After dinner we headed off to the opera house to listen to Mozart and Strauss. We weren't quite sure what to expect but I thought it would be a huge auditorium. It was better. It was a personal little room with maybe one hundred seats. It reminded me of Pride and Prejudice where they go along and sit on velvet seats and listen to music and have a ball. There was music and opera singing and ballet all in the hour and half long performance. As part of our music experience we got to go back stage during intermission and have photos with the players and singers, as well as a glass of champagne.

At the end of the performance it was raining and no one was keen to go out, so we all headed back to the hotel.
The next morning we headed out into the city for some shopping. We went to Swarkovski flagship store and surprise, surprise, I bought more stuff. We walked around the palaces and learnt about the history of the city, as well as what happened to it during WWII. There was some great art work about the hardships that the Jews faced. It was quite upsetting to see some of the others on the tour making light of what they were looking at when looking at the statures. Tomorrow, we are going to Mathausen, one of the first concentration camps and the last one to be liberated at the end of the war. Hopefully, then they will have a better idea.

Austria is also the home of Mozart's Balls, a chocolate treat that is very famous there. I wasn't sure quite what to make of the one I had. It has about four layers inside with different flavours.

As a surprise treat Rich and Jen decided that anyone who wanted to, could go with them for a sneaky excursion to Brotslava in Slovakia. It was just a chance to say that we had lunch in Vienna, dinner in Slovakia, and slept in Vienna again. We drove out there, went into the city and all split up to find dinner. Jodie and I found a great little restaurant. We were the only ones there and the food was cheap. Our wines cost 2 Euro for a huge glass. Roast beef, rice and chips only cost 10 Euro. The meal was massive.
As we were walking around trying to find dinner, we did find some very cool art statues. This one you can see is called 'Man at Work', and yes, he actually is crawling out of a manhole. It took us and hour and a half to get to Brotslava and the same in return. We got back to the hotel in Vienna at about 11pm. I had a bit of a headache but couldn't sleep so I put on the telly and the programme that was on was a documentary on porn stars. Europeans are so much more open about sex. The whole documentary was in german, but you get the basic idea about what they are talking about. It was certainly eye-opening.

New Year's Day in Venice

I had an amazing day in Venice and am keen to go back. I want to go and get lost in the winding streets. Stay for a week or so and go on gondola rides every day.

We took a ferry across the lagoon to the city of Venice and when we arrived I got to see Saint Marks square by day, which was equally stunning and surprisingly clean given the huge street party the night before. We did a walking tour with a local guide. She told us about Venice's seedy past and its power during the renaissance, and the sadness that the Catholic church caused by closing down their brothel houses. She pointed out what she referred to as the 'Titty bridge' named because apparently there was a law in Venice in the 1700s that meant that all prostitutes had to bare their breasts on the bridge in order to gain business. Much more liberal than today. She also told us about how the gondolas used to be used by the locals hundreds of years ago as a place to have their affairs. Of course, the gondolas had only a small canopy so everyone would know exactly what they were getting up to on the boats.

Our first stop after the tour was the Venetian Glass Factory where I bought some very beautiful earrings. We got to see how they make a cat out of molten glass and how they make a jug. The skill they have is mind-blowing.

We then had a ride on the gondolas and I had a moment.I could have spent hours on it. The only thing that was a shame was the gondilier who spent the whole time talking to other gondiliers. I expected some singing. However, it was still absolutely amazing! It was something else all together to get to see Venice from water level.

After the gondola ride, we all split up to get some lunch. Jamie and I split from the pack and found an amazing little local restaurant. It was small and personal with only two staff and six tables. It was about the size of my old bedroom. What that did mean was that we got really personal service and the food. Good god, the food! It wasn't the quick tourist pasta that seems to live in most big restaurants. This was fresh pasta, cooked perfectly.

We headed back to the square after that and did some more shopping. I had to try and behave myself. I find I like shopping at tourist shops more than is probably good for me.
At the end of the day we jumped back on the ferry and went back to the hotel. It had been a long day with little sleep the night before.

I touched Juliet's boob

I have had the most amazing new year so far. It started out with new years eve where we left Rome and headed up to Venice. Jen and Rich (tour guide and driver) decided to treat us. So they took us to Verona, home to the famed Romeo and Juliet on the way up. It was stunning. They took us up to a church above the city with stunning views down over the city of Verona. We could see the old walls and hear the bells ringing out. We then headed down into the city for a few hours to get something to eat before we headed out to the new years street party on the island of Venice. That is where I, with thousands of others, touched Juliet's boob. It is supposed to provide good luck in love, though when you consider the story, I am not sure how much luck those two had. Anyway, we did the Italian thing, which is to act like you belong and shove your way through the crowds without apologising, then you jump up on the statue, grab the boob and look at the camera to get the all important photo. Also, along with the statue, is Juliet's balcony and the walls that people leave love letters on for Juliet's secretaries to write back to.
After Verona, we headed up to Venice to quickly dump our bags and prepare for a street party. The word on the street was that it was going to be cold, so we were all bundled up. It made me smile when Sunny wore her skimpy little dress with about ten layers on underneath it and a jacket over the top so you couldn't see it anyway.

We took a boat on to the island, all rugged up, and headed into Saint Marks Square. It was pretty quiet when we first arrived around 8.30pm so Jodie and I grabbed a hot wine and went for a walk around the back streets where we stumbled across masque shops. You know me, I can't pass up a masque, so I went in and I bought one. A blue one, with sparkles and a butterfly. I then convinced Jodie to get one. When we walked back into the square the rest of the contiki group were a bit jealous and so they all went off to buy their own, and so in the end almost everyone had a masque. Go me! The best part of the night was when they give out free alcohol. Yes, free. Where does that happen? Venice, apparently. There is supposed to be some old tradition that you drink Billini (a champagne and peach schnapps mix) at 10.30pm on NYE.
Now, it was free, and everyone likes free stuff, so when I say the lines were huge, I am not exaggerating at all. But, once again, using our new European 'I deserve to be here so move out of my way' attitude, pushed us along nicely. I laughed non-stop. Never have I been so crushed. At one point, we didn't have to move, the sheer weight and push of people behind us actually pushed us forward. When we finally reached the front to get our bottles of Bilini, we had to make our way back out through a mob of people determined to get to the free booze. That was almost as fun as diving in.

We met some Italian guys who flagged me and Jodie down in our masques and started off quite well, but ended with, 'It is how you say, we like the pussy' at which we burst out laughing. They followed it up with 'Do you like the pussy or the penis?' all of this said with a thick Italian accent. We continued chatting with them for a while longer then headed back to our group.

Just before midnight we left Saint Marks Square to see the fireworks on the waterfront. We waited, and we waited and we waited. Midnight came and went without a countdown or kisses, mostly because know one seemed to know what was going on, and if it was even 2012 yet. Ah, Italians. Such a relaxed bunch. At 12.15am the fireworks were let of. Stunning.

We had to catch a ferry back to the mainland at 12.45am, so we headed along the water front, through the thriving masses of bodies. It was so much fun.

Rome – the Pretty yet Dodgy City

Rome is as amazing as I remember it being. Obviously the big monuments haven’t changed and it would appear that neither have the gypsies and thieves. There were plenty of both while we were there. We got into Rome at around 5pm and went straight into the city for a walking tour. We went for a walk to the Trevi fountain, so I got to see that at night which was great. The story goes that you are to throw in one coin to return to Rome, two coins to find love and three to marry an Italian. I threw in my two cents in a manner of speaking, figuring that a little bit of help from Neptune, a very lusty god, wouldn’t hurt. We walked along to the Colosseum and had dinner close by, feasting on pasta, bread and meat. Classic meal. We finally got to the hotel at about 9pm. It was a very long day, starting in Florence and ending in Rome. The hotel we were staying at was on the other side of the city, so to get into and out of the city, we had to catch a bus first to the trainstation, then we jumped on one train for about 9 stops and then onto another train line for a few more.


We spent the morning at the Vatican with a walking tour guide. It was amazing, and I have now seen the Cistine Chapel, the amazing paintings and the grounds. The best thing about the tour was we got to skip the lines, which, I kid not, were out and around the outer walls of the city. It was crazy.
When we were in Saint Peters, the thieves made themselves known. Poor Jodie. She and I were walking side by side inside the church when we head her bag fall to the ground. We both looked down and Jodie grabbed it up. We looked at the strap and it had been cut. The most frightening and amazing thing was that her bag was under her jacket. Luckily she still had her bag. It had all of her money, credit cards and passport. After the church we headed out to a pizzeria for lunch. It was lovely. They have pizzas, huge and hot and you point at the ones you want. They cut you a slice and add it to the scales. You pay for the weight. 1.50 Euro per 100 grams. It was quite enterprising and very busy. Once we had our pizza we went outside and sat on the stone steps to eat it. That was when Sunny, my roomie, realised that her wallet was gone. Her bag had been zipped open while she had been looking at pizzas and her credit cards and money was gone. Both Jodie and Sunny’s incidences happened within half an hour of each other.


Once I finished my pizza I joined my fellow contikians in some gelato. Fast am I becoming a fan of gelato, chocolate gelato... mmm...Seriously, I am going to need to go on a carrot stick diet when I get back. Right now, I am enjoying it, but when I get back...

Everyone sort of split up after that. Most of us went to the Colosseum. It was fantastic to be back. I don’t think I truly remembered how magnificent it was till I once more stood before it, imagining the cheers of the crowds and the clash of steel. It is so strong, the feeling and sounds, that it is almost real. I acted as a bit of a tour guide for some of the others on the tour, which was fun. We stayed there for about an hour and decided to head to the Roman Forum. Once more, I was thwarted. Last year I missed out because we didn’t have time. This year, I missed out because we arrived at the gates at 3.31pm and they let the last people in at exactly 3.30pm. We begged but they were adamant that we could not go in. Because that was a fail, we decided to head up to the top of the huge monument and museum. We took the glass elevator right to the top and could see over the entire of Rome at sunset. It was simply breathtaking.

Once it was dark, we went back down and found a restaurant near the Metro line. Dinner and tips later, we caught the train back...
It was an interesting way to end the day. Firstly, we had to catch the train to the very last stop and when we got out we couldn’t see the bus we were supposed to catch. One quick conversation later and a lot of hand gestures, we were told that the bus was “that way”. Jen, our tour guide, had not told us this, mostly because she didn’t know. It was the first time that Contiki had stayed at that hotel. At least there was 8 of us to get lost together, including some men folk that like to weigh lift. We got turned about a few times, and for the life of us, we couldn’t see the bus stops anywhere. Eventually we say it and boosted towards it only to watch it drive away. We then had to wait about twenty minutes more for the next bus to come past. The bus driver was really helpful because we had no idea where our stop was or what it was called. We showed him the address and he did the rest.


We were knackered after that. It had been another long day. There have been many, and tomorrow is New Years Eve. Crazy.

Pisa – The leaning Tower really does lean

After leaving Nice, we headed down to Florence. But before we got there we stopped at Pisa for just over an hour. Now me, when I imagine the leaning tower, I always imagine it having a slight lean but nothing compared to what I saw. That thing leans like no ones business. I mean, when you look at the building around it, it is a wonder that it is still standing. I must have taken about 30 photos from various angles trying to catch the lean (no pun intended). They had heaps and heaps of stalls and if it weren’t for my tightening of space in my bag I would have come away from there with leaning cups, statuettes, leaning shot glasses. I did the obligatory photo trying to hold up the tower and another where I am actually holding the tower in my hand. Looks a bit photo-shopped but I swear it is not.

Everywhere we looked there were also big Nigerian dudes trying to sell us umbrellas and scarfs and paintings. They will follow you if you look at them, or make any sort of acknowledgement of what they are selling, so basically we don’t We have become very good at using our peripheral vision to see them coming.

We drove into Florence in the evening and then we had a Tuscan evening.

The Italians, the love to eat... more than the French I think. And they looooove their carbs. Breads and pastas of every kind. To give you can idea about what our dinner looked like. We stared off with some bread and oil, followed by dinner plate of salad and bruchetta, bread covered with cheese, and bread covered with chickpeas, followed by a full dinner plate of lasagne and pasta with pomodora sauce, followed by a full dinner plate of more salad and meat. Lots of meat. Followed by desert. I could only stare at it. I couldn't force it in. The whole lot was washed down with HUGE bottles of wine. Each bottle was 1.5 litres! Took two hands to pour it. Pretty impressive.

Florence – the city of statues and suspicious fishermen
Florence. Amazing but definitely somewhere to go back to. We didn’t have long there. Half a day was all we had, but it was a morning well spent. I learnt how to tell the difference between real and fake leather at a tannery. I bought a ring that is unique to Florence. It is a puzzle ring. They were said to be used by fishermen in the old days. They would give the rings to their wives while they were away at sea and when they came back they would know if their wife had been unfaithful to him because when you take the ring off it falls apart. The ring is made up of 4 rings that all interlock together to form a shape similar to a celtic knot. Apparently wives didn’t know how to put the rings back together so if they took it off to have an affair their men would know when they returned. I liked the story, and the ring is very cool. A few of us decided to try and see Michelangelo’s David. Alas, we didn’t get that far but we did find the street markets. I tried to haggle but I failed and didn’t have enough money at the time to pay so I gave the hat back. Sigh. I still think about that hat. Hahaha. We had hot chocolate at a cafe or Kaffee, as I keep seeing it spelt, and took a butt load of photos of hot statue bods.

We were due to depart Florence at midday. It is another place that I will come back to. After all, I didn’t get to see David’s amazing bum. Next stop, Rome...

Nice ... it is nice

The drive plus breaks took us 8 hours, and we arrived into Nice at about 5.30pm. By that point I was utterly exhausted and could feel my anger levels rising out of pure exhaustion. We had an included dinner at a restaraunt and the girls were trying to get me to go out after with them. At first I agreed but you know when you are sitting at a table, looking about and wishing everyone would just shut the hell up, that you are most certainly not in the party mood. I had reached tantrum level of tiredness and I knew that if I went out I would be wearing the cranky pants. I don’t want to be sulky in the corner. So, after dinner, I walked back to the hotel with all the other sicko’s who were coming down with colds. A half hour shower later and asleep by 9.30pm. We had a sleep in day tomorrow, so I turned off my alarm and slept, and slept, and slept. I woke at 8.30am, and it was good. I had revived my enthusiasm for being overseas and was ready to continue.

I spent the morning with Jade and Jodie who were doing their washing and then Jodie and I went shopping for our Monte Carlo Casino experience that was to come later that night.

Cherie, you will be proud to know that I am now the owner of a new, sparkly town dress and shrug. We were all keen to dress up and look our best. We were having to pay, after all, to get into the grand casino. Nice was very beautiful and I would love to go back there for a relaxing holiday. It is coastal but has pebble beaches. The area is stunning with houses built up onto to the hills surrounding, but each house is very rich looking.

We left for Monaco at 4pm. We had to stop first at Fragonard, the French perfumery, and once our nostril hairs had been sufficiently burnt away, we headed off for a walking tour of Monaco, the second smallest county in the world. The Vatican is apparently the first smallest and I have now been to both. Woot!

We walked up to the castle in Monaco. It looks hideously fake. Sort of like a plastic castle from Disneyland. It was even lit up like Disneyland. However, the views are amazing and I learnt a few interesting things. For example, unless I become a millionaire and prove my worth to the Prince of Monaco, I will never be a resident. Also, if I ever have a yacht and wish to make port in Monaco, it better be a super yacht with swarkovski crystal taps in the loos and gold filigree etc. You have to have mega bucks to be allowed to reside in Monaco.

We had dinner at a restaurant down from the “castle”. It came with wine. Lots of wine, and more food than one person should be able to consume. They really like to eat in France. And eat. And eat. And eat. I thought they might have to roll me out of the place.

After dinner we headed to the Casino. Let me start of by saying, the only casino I have ever been into is the Skycity. Monte Carlo is nothing like that. At all. Here is why: 1) you have to pay 10 Euro to get in, 2) everyone is dressed nicely and the seats are dry 3) no one smells like BO or pee, 4) there are only about 50 pokies and a heap of roulette tables. No card games. 5) There were people dropping a thousand dollars at the roulette table, every time, 6) there was no harsh lighting 7) the walls were painted like that of a 17th Century French palace with gold filigree and floor to ceiling frescos.

I and every other person there with us felt like we didn’t really belong. On the up side I won some cash. Originally I had put aside 20 Euro to gamble, but when that was gone, I was a bit like ‘Well, damn, I am only here once and I have 20 Euro left. Why not?’ So I did. One particular pokie machine was calling out to me... a Star Wars one, complete with theme tune and C3PO talking to me. It was a sure thing. Ha. I got down to my last 6 Euro and was questioning my skills of finding the ‘sure win’ when suddenly I began getting free spins and games which were not only shiny but interactive. I made my 40 back and then another 10 on top of that. Oh yeah! I was quite pleased with myself. I cashed it in.

We headed to the other casino in Monaco called The Sun and I ordered a single drink. A lemonade and apple sour vodka. It set me back a whopping 13 Euro. Good bye winnings.

We got back into Nice around midnight, and then it was off to bed for an early rise. We were off to Florence.